You are only free when you realize you belong no place- you belong every place- no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great. -Maya Angelou
For most, if not all of us in some point in time, have felt like an outsider. Not good enough, pretty enough, tough enough… fill in the blank. We fall short because we are human and expectations are unrealistic. Those negative things we tell ourselves or let others tell us can feel so true. Especially when our circumstances appear to feel real.
When this happens it can bring us to a dark place. The longer we experience the rejection and hurt of others, the more we are susceptible to putting on a mask to cover our true selves.
Sometimes we don’t even have to go very far to experience bullying. We can be the biggest bullies to ourselves. We say terrible things that are untrue and hold us back from being everything we were intended to be. Thoughts and words are so powerful. They have the power to heal or hurt.
Negative, degrading thoughts and words lead to terrible choices. Positive thoughts and words lead us to positive, healthy choices. Be aware of what you think and say to yourself and others. If you aren’t convinced try it and see the difference it makes in your life.
Our identity can get wrapped up into many things. It can get wrapped up into what we think we are or want to become. We can even let others tell us what and who we are.
Who and what you are is personal. I personally have found my identity as a daughter of God. It’s been the most beautiful realization for me. From that personal truth I have come to realize what’s important to me, as well as what and who I value.
When you open yourself up to truth and understanding you find yourself. I don’t think we will every get to a place where we completely understand this- we are human. The more we humbly dig for the right answers, we can discover who we are and who we were made to be.
I love the quote by Maya Angelou that says “you belong nowhere and everywhere.” We often have to stand alone and that’s ok. Not everyone is meant to be apart of your journey. Your identity is in where you belong. If you belong to yourself entirely then you know who you are, accept who you are and love yourself. When we do this we shine and thrive in life.
Part of walking in your identity and belonging to yourself is about guarding who and what we let into our lives. Click To Tweet Boundaries are meant to keep us and everyone else safe.
We need to be careful with who we allow in our lives. The closer you allow someone in your life, the stronger the influence. Their words can be held in high regard the more vulnerable you are in that relationship. One of my favorite sayings comes from Researcher, Author and Speaker Brene Brown…she says “you share your story with those who have earned the right to hear it.”
Don't just give your precious time, thoughts and vulnerabilities to those who are going to abuse it and leave you empty. Not everyone is deserving to belong in your life. Click To TweetA persons character and values will help you decide whether they get that opportunity.
What character qualities do you possess and what do you value? Our identity can get wrapped into many things that pose as healthy but can be destructive. This is why you need to be fully aware of what you listen to, watch and partake in. We live in a world that promotes selfishness.
Some of the messages are “buy that overly expensive car, it will make you look good” or “watch some porn it will gratify you sexually.” All of this self gratification does nothing for you. It actually feeds into selfishness, hinders relationships and takes away from us caring and helping others.
I often see social media posts of people posting tons of selfies. Some of them are all about looking fit all the time. I’m not saying there is anything wrong in being healthy, driven or focused. If your passion is health and fitness that is wonderful. You can be a positive influence in that area. However, if it consumes your life this can become a problem.
Do you value the likes, popularity and feelings of looking good or does it go deeper than that to help inspire people to be healthier? You lose your truest identity when you allow what you weigh, look like, accomplishments or any material thing to dictate who you are. Check your heart and motives behind what you do.
Don’t let anyone stop you from helping others make a difference in the world. As you go about belonging to your truest identity and influencing others, ask yourself…is this something that is going to help another person? How is it going to help them? If you have an audience- asking them about their perspective can be eye opening and helpful.
Know who you are, accept who you are and love yourself entirely. Then chose to be the same with those around you. Each of us was made to be great, we all just need to see it and embrace it everyday.