The goal when we talk about conquering fears outta be to….
How many of us still today have the same fears we had as a little youngster? Setting out to have a life that has less fear requires us to do some things that will get us a little uncomfortable but it should never overwhelm us.
I can remember a friend of mine who had a fear of boats, decide to get on a big boat. People were trying to coach her on staying on the boat and she looked terrified. Then when the boat started moving, she went into shock. She started seizing and it was a bad ordeal. It made her more fearful after that experience.
Nobody will understand your fear like you. For that reason, you have to trust yourself, be honest with yourself and decide for yourself what steps you need to take. Having encouragement and challenges from others is great, but in the end you are the one making the decision so you need to trust yourself.
Knowing your fears and the place they hold in your life is incredibly insightful.
When you understand what makes you afraid, it brings you to a point of decision. You can ask yourself “What do I need in order to move forward into this fearful place? What steps and resources do I need that will work for me, in order to overcome my fears and fear less?
I can remember my biggest fear coming true years ago. Those select few who know me-like REALLY know me, know that losing those close to my heart in the past has been a scary place. Although it still sort-of falls into that category, it doesn’t have a hold on me like it use to.
My biggest fear came true when I lost my dear Grandpa in 2011. It was heart wrenching. My Grandpa was my security and the man I really learned to love. When battling questions over his death with God I couldn’t help but embrace the fear. I had no choice- he was gone.
Embrace The Fear
In order to fear less, that’s what we need to do. That means, getting as real as can be. Through my questioning with God, I wrestled and fought for answers which later on I got. It just wasn’t in the time or way that I wanted them. Our world likes to discharge fear, pain, anything really that makes us hurt or feel uncomfortable. Do you have a pain or illness? Oh yeah, here is a prescription. It’s not a bad thing to take medication but when your reliance is on things rather than making steps yourself, we have a problem. YOU are STRONGER than a bottle a pills.
We work through fear, we don’t discharge it.
When we embrace fear it gives us clarity and peace of mind (on some level). You take action and reject your feelings. Feelings give us some truth but not the whole truth. It surely tells us that something is wrong and needs fixing. On the flip-side, your feelings can be deceiving and in some cases, put you at a stand still. Feelings can over-dramatize our reality. The plan needs to be that we acknowledge feelings and then we move on with logic.
Before taking action, ask yourself relevant questions. How will this action move me or someone I care about forward in a positive and healthy way? Growth happens when we decide to be scared while taking action to achieve. We embrace, are enlightened and are able to empower.
I could have decided after my Grandpa passed away to not be vulnerable or get as close to people- that way I wouldn’t have much to lose. But that is not living life to the fullest. That life is shallow and sad.
We were made to experience joy-a sense of deep meaning, gratitude and satisfaction.
Brene Brown in her book “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let God of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are” She says “We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” This is a quote I often think about when I’m tempted to shut down, stop being vulnerable with myself, people and life.
We were made for relationships that matter and have substance. When we stop being vulnerable with people, we begin a life that is absent of joy and all the other positive emotions. Of course being vulnerable doesn’t mean we share whatever we want with just anybody. This is where we can get into major trouble. Be careful who you entrust your heart to. Share with those who have invested in you, your relationship/friendship, and is completely for you.
Use Fear As Your Fuel
This means that in order to fear less we need use our fear as a way to springboard us into the next step. Whatever you are afraid of, think of a step that will get you to your accomplished goal.
Fear is fuel for a beautiful life that we live with purpose. And when we let it become fuel, it breeds faith. Have a well thought out plan of action. Now comes the toughest part- follow through on your plan and don’t stop. Have daily accountability, if need be.
Remember the benefits in taking each action step. What will be your reward? One major reward, that’s not always recognizable is faith. When we step into fear, we can achieve a huge amount of faith. Especially when we keep practicing stepping in our fear. An extended benefit when we have faith, is that we are are brought into a close understanding of the beautiful people God created us to be. It gives us clarity on who we are and what amazing things we are capable of doing.
Today is your day to be Fear….Less. Go be amazing.
Be blessed and bless others,