Relationships

4 kick ass steps that will help you succeed in all relationships

We all define success in our own way. For some people it may be just to try to put forth their best effort. While others it may be seeing a more substantial pay off of their efforts. For some it may be something like achieving a certain amount of money for efforts or getting a big promotion at your job.

Whatever level of success you want to achieve, I want to help guide you to whatever it is you would like to achieve. In doing so, we have to get really specific about what steps we need to take. I have nailed it down to 4 essential steps. Although I’m sure there are more than that.

Step #1 Have intentions and communicate them.

Anybody been in that awkward place where you were asked out by a guy you just met only to learn later on down the road that his intentions weren’t clearly defined and you ended up being used for his selfish gain? Ya me neither.

or what about setting up an interview with a company that sounded great at the present time but when it came down to learning their true intentions later on, it wasn’t at all what you had in mind for your job role?

These are situations we get ourselves into when we don’t take the time to ask from the very first encounter “what are your honest intentions?” sure it’s an uncomfortable question but it’s a wise question to ask.

Now I know asking this question has it’s limitations. People can lie and deceive. Some people play games because they are selfish and want what they want. As a result you end up getting hurt in the process. You feel used and taken advantage of. Asking the “what are your intentions?” question may not seem to work for those dishonest people and there are a lot of those out there.

However for the honest folks this question can be golden. It can cure hesitations and give you confirmation on your decisions.

Being upfront about your own honest intentions is important as well. It will save you time and heartache in the long run. How? If people don't have mutual intentions both companies and individuals suffer. They will waste their time only to realize the different paths that they want. Click To Tweet

Step #2 Define your boundaries.

This is a tough one because sometimes we don’t know what our boundaries are until catastrophe hits us. Boundaries are difficult to understand let along navigate and define.

So how do we define our boundaries?

When something makes us uncomfortable or uneasy that is a clear indication that our boundaries are being crossed. Click To Tweet What is scary for all of us who have been here, is that we feel we have something to lose if we speak up. What we fail to realize later, is that we lose the one person we most need in our lives- ourselves. We need to be true to who we are because no matter what, you are stuck with yourself.

Defining your boundaries comes when we examine what we feel safe and comfortable with and voice them to those that need to hear them. If our boundaries are crossed it is our job to be open about it. The way I see it, if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries after you have voiced them, then that’s a clear indication that they are not healthy to be closely tied into your life. Each of us deserves to be treated with respect.

When we are in a safe environment and know it, we are able to thrive and live our best lives. Click To TweetWe are true to ourselves and are able to give more freely. Not just give to ourselves but we are able to give more to those around us.

Photographer Credit: Bri Young Models: me on left, Tina Sonnie on right

Step #3: Demonstrate Positive Actions.

What do I mean by this? Show your support. Look for opportunities to care for people. Give people solid encouragement that is personable and thoughtful. Shower a friend with a gift (doesn’t even have to be expensive) that you know would put a smile on their face. Think outside of the box and show support not because you want something back but because you care.

This doesn’t always come back to us. The good part of demonstrating positive actions is that we learn who is for us and who could care less. If you are constantly doing for the same person and they don’t reciprocate ever, that is a clear indication that your efforts should be going somewhere else.

Life is too short to live in relationships with people that are draining and never building anything positive. Getting no support back shows that it may be time to move on. Put your money, time and effort somewhere else where it will be appreciated and grow. Still be nice but be limited on your giving.

Models: Bri Young (left) and me on (right) Photo Credit: Tina Sonnie

Step #4: Be productive.

Look for ways to get your questions answered and your needs met. Take the time to invest in yourself and others. Time is something you will never get back so be picky about where your time and efforts go. Bring people into the mix that you have strong connections with and collaborate on things together. Build ideas with healthy like-minded positive thinkers and doers. Click To Tweet

Look at ways of achieving goals together. When we find friends that have great values and work ethics we should be getting together to collaborate, learn from one another and exchange thoughts, ideas and plans. Solid leaders are much better together then they are on their own. We all have unique skills and gifts that can be beneficial to one another.

Photo Credit & Model: Me

When we work hard to produce well thought out ideas, we will see the great results in due time. Patience is your friend. Everything good in this life takes time to build. Sometimes we don’t see it right away but when we keep at whatever it is we are doing, perfecting it as we work on it, in due time you will start seeing great results. Don’t give up. Progress is what will make you want to keep going and give you hope as you move along.

18 thoughts on “4 kick ass steps that will help you succeed in all relationships

  1. This is super useful as I just applied for a new job and will need some strategies in case they call me for an interview. I think it’s really important to make things very clear from the beginning, such as in a job interview, to know exactly what kind of relationship you want to build with those people.

  2. Communication is number one! I absolutely agree with you to communicate your boundaries. If they don’t know your boundaries they will never know when they went to far.

  3. Setting boundaries is where I see people struggling the most. Many people will take you for granted because you allow it. Set the tone in the beginning to avoid these issues. I also agree with productivity and investing in yourself!

  4. Communication is key! I love that you highlighted that. Especially in communicating your intentions and your boundaries. If you aren’t open and honest about those kinds of things relationships ultimately fall apart.

  5. Great advice! So many times people don’t understand where their relationships go wrong, but this is a perfect roadmap to make it successful….or realize it won’t work in the long run. Thanks for sharing!

  6. I loved when you stated that ‘solid leaders are much better together than on their own’. I am a registered nurse and this statement could not be more true on a busy hospital unit where teamwork and leadership is so important. Loved reading this, great post!

  7. Communicating intentions – yes! We all should learn doing it, no matter what kind of relationships we are in. Or later it turns out that we want one thing and they want another and the time is completely wasted. I guess that was the one thing my husband and I got right from the start, but some other relationships suffered due to this.

  8. I must admit defining my space and intentions is always a challenge for me, I feel like I get underestimated sometimes then I tend to get steamrolled a lot. However I do surround myself with like minded people so we are all in it together…..lol

  9. This is so wise. As a person who’s never been in a relationship, I can safely say this made me wiser in this subject! Keep writing because it’s a gift!

  10. So true. I think most people get caught up in step 1! Defining what you want and communicating that to yourself and those around you is not always easy, but it’s a great place to start on the right path!

  11. Hey this is such a great read! I haven’t actually thought to relate issues in relationships to issues in the corporate world as well.

  12. Communication is definitely a big one! Me and my husband began our marriage with a 7 month deployment, so we definitely had to work on communication a lot for anything to work !

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