Establishing goals to succeed in the new year

Establishing the right goals for you in the new year will take careful consideration. It will require you to get honest with yourself and have some self awareness. Don’t just set a goal that “sounds good” or is “good for you” with no real intention or plan to follow through.  You need to be aware of what it is you need and want.  There has to be a strong desire and a will to do it.

First, think about what is important for you and to you.  Grab some paper and start brainstorming. Prioritize your list with simple and clear details. If you have subscribed to my email list you will get a free download goal setting sheet to help you. I have also included a weekly goal sheet to help you along the way.

weekly goals

Answering what is important for you and to you, will give you a sense of direction. If you can’t answer this then it’s time you start putting yourself out there- meet people and take up a hobby or two.

Know your destination
What do you want to accomplish and why? What are you hoping to achieve? If you do not know this, then you need to explore what it is you could possibly want. Know the facts before you take a big leap into embarking on a big goal.  The more you know the easier and clearer it is to get to your destination. Get specific.

Research your destination so that you have an idea of what you need in order to get there. Think about it this way…when you take a trip somewhere you’ve never been, what do you do? You plan, prepare and have back up plans.

The farther the destination, the bigger the chance of getting lost.  Many obstacles can occur in the process as well: your phone service cuts you off so no gps, your car breaks down along the way or your credit card gets declined while at a gas station. Be safe, not sorry.

Know what steps to take

  • Who is going to help you?
  • What are you needing to help you?
  • When are you going to do it?
  • Where are you going to do it?
  • How are you going to do each goal?

All good questions to ask yourself. Write down, as this could be a really helpful thing in the future when you need to reflect. Put each action step in order with specific instructions. You are better than a one step action. Click To Tweet

Create a 2-5  step process, starting from easiest to hardest. Anything more than 5 steps and you may want to quit entirely.  Anything less and you are not challenging yourself enough.

Let’s prioritize now

  • What do you spend the majority of your time doing?
  •  Where does your money go?

Is it moving you to where you want to be in the future? If it’s not then we need to re-prioritize. Get rid of all the unhealthy things that you are prioritizing.

Sometimes we are aware of this and sometimes we aren’t. One or two of our closest trustworthy friends can see things we can’t always see in ourselves.  We may think our behavior or actions are normal and even sometimes healthy but that’s where we can deceive ourselves.

Here is an example I’m sure many of you can relate to. You spend numerous hours on social media. Your intentions could be good. You say “I just want to help inspire people.”  However the problem comes into play when it consumes.  Many of us are completely unaware when we are in addiction mode.

In my case I am an input junkie who loves researching and discovering new creative ways to better myself and people.  This isn’t helpful though when instead of creating, I’m consuming.  Time is an issue. We can never get it back so how you spend your valuable time is important.

Prioritize what you need to do with an appropriate amount of detail, time and attention.  Block out time to get what you need to do done and clear yourself of distractions which can waste our valuable time.

Monthly Habit Goal Tracker

Track your progress

I’ve included a free pdf that I have made to help you on this journey.  There are so many benefits to tracking your goals. For instance, you can look back and get a very clear picture of what specific goals need tweaking.

When you are on a trip, you can get a feeling for where you are at based on tracking.  Same is true for your goals.  Tracking your goals has many benefits.  You can see what needs more focus and less focus.

It can also build your confidence and faith in yourself in this journey.  You will become more aware of how far you’ve come and how long it took you.   It can especially be helpful as you continue in the future. You will be able to see the growth through reflecting.

Revise when necessary

Whatever isn’t working, tweak it a little. Give it some thought and attention. Don’t just throw out a good goal right away. There is no rule that says you need to do a specific goal just like everyone else. Click To Tweet You are unique and what works for one person, may not work for you. Tweak it in a way, that you know will move you forward in your goal.

You were made to succeed and you will succeed! Just by reading his post alone you have succeeded. Your knowledge, desire and willpower can move you to incredible heights. I believe in you. Let’s do this!

Be blessed & bless others,

❤Coach Dani

 

 

How processing the past year can help you in the new year

Photo Credit: Jen Webster Model: Myself

The end of the year can be a tad bit emotional. But this doesn’t need to be a bad thing. In fact, it can be quite helpful. We don’t want to stay there for too long of a time but processing through it can give us perspective and clarity on moving forward in the new year.

Here is the process I’m going to be taking you through: Reflection, Regret, React, Retreat and Resonaite. If you’re thinking “wow this sounds challenging and like it could be a more real talk”….it is!  If you want to move forward then you need to get super honest about where you have been and what needs changing.

Reflection

Think about what worked and what didn’t work for you this past year. Read through your journals, ask your kids what they thought mommy did and didn’t do well (in appropriate age level mommy language) and look for other ways to measure how well you did. Reflecting can be a very helpful tool. It can show you what you need to work on and what you need to get rid of. It can also show you how incredible you were and give you confidence in the growing areas of your life. Click To Tweet

Regret

Let’s be totally honest…nobody likes the feeling of regret. Whether it’s something you didn’t do or something you did do and it cost you big time.  Regret proves you have a heart and that you care. The positive side of regret, is that it reminds us of what truly is important to us. Whenever someone has sat in regret, they have thought about what they could have or should have done differently. Regret can be used towards change in the New Year. It can inspire you to change and do things differently.

React 

The past year can leave us reacting. We were made with emotions but we weren’t made to abuse them.  Reactions can make us aware of our current state.  How did you react over the course of this last year?  Did they help you or another person grow or find wholeness?  How you react on a daily basis shows how stable you are.   Your reactions show the condition of your heart.

Retreat

Pulling back isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be quite a good thing. Sometimes we desperately need to.  Our world is filled with so many distractions and things that vie for our attention.  Too much can overwhelm a person, cause exhaustion and get you lost. When we retreat, we give our self time to breathe, rest and take a step back to recharge.  This gives us  the energy we need for the things and people we love.

Resonate

When you resonate with something, you feel and can sense it without an explanation. Being able to resonate gives you direction. It allows you to feel whether something could be an opportunity for good. I’ve put this as the last step in the process because it is the transition piece. If our state of being is healthy and whole we are able to resonate on the path we are to take.

I no doubt believe you are able to process through and come out even stronger in this new year. You have everything you need to make it a great one. Believe in yourself, stay humble, choose to care for yourself and even more importantly, to love others. You were made to thrive and come out even stronger in this coming year. Now let’s go brave this new year together.

Be blessed and bless others,

❤Coach Dani

 

 

Beautiful and Diverse

Beautiful and Diverse
Models from left to right: Magnolia Lewis-Walker, myself, and Michelle Wang Photographer: John Other Medicine

In diversity there is beauty and there is strength.      -Maya Angelou

I find it encouraging that what makes us beautiful is what makes us diverse.
It is fascinating how every single person on this planet is made different. When you think about that reality doesn’t it make you wonder why we are diverse? It’s like God carried out this amazing plan in creating us and said “great now they can learn from each other.”beauty and diversity

The problem comes, when we become “know it all’s” who are unteachable and unwilling to see in another’s perspective. Our heart can become hard and numb, unable to experience connection. We let our experience, history, society, people, religion and media influence us. This isn’t entirely bad but if we don’t go back to the truth of our identity from God’s (the creator and author) standpoint we can get lost in a bunch of opinions that can appear as facts.

beauty and diversity

So what does your Creator say about you and others? Why did he create you and I? Your true purpose, is what makes you incredibly beautiful. The Bible tells us that we were “made in the image of God.” Let that sink it. You and everyone around you were made with that power and greatness. So when it comes to competing and outdoing another person, I have to ask why?

We were all made with the same greatness. The only difference is that we have different looks and strengths. Once you grab ahold of who you truly are, you will begin to see beauty all around you. Your focus wont be just on bettering yourself or your agenda- it will be on helping others achieve their dreams.

beauty and diversity
Model: Michelle Wang Photographer: John Other Medicine

A few months ago I did a photoshoot with a couple of friends (pictured in post) who I met through modeling. As I have grown to know them, I find myself inspired by them. For that reason I said “you guys we need to do a photoshoot.” Both completely different looks and personality. Even the way they pose is different and I love it!

Together we were able to get creative and have fun learning from each other.  Our biggest obstacle the day of- the rain. This could have made us quit as a team but it didn’t.

beautiful and diverse

There are obstacles in diversity. It requires us getting uncomfortable. It requires us not doing something we are use to.  When we allow this in our lives we add to our character and to the character of those we are in communication with. We are able to see the relationship grow and build when we allow ourselves to be uncomfortable for another person.

Beautiful and Diverse
Models from left to right: Nia Yang, Magnolia Lewis-Walker, Cassi Rose, Michelle Wan, Sara Geurts, Myself Photographer: Michaela Rae Photo
A special bond happens when you endure obstacles together. Click To Tweet

Respect, acceptance, love, understanding, depth, honesty, and trust is built. I’m a Christian no doubt but one of my closest friends is not. In fact, I’m a little embarassed to say this  but in the beginning of our friendship we were annoyed by eachother more often then not. We didn’t accept eachothers viewpoints one bit.

I don’t believe that it was a conisidence that she was placed strategically in my life with no way of breaking free from her completely. She would be laughing at this if she were reading this right now. You would think this diversity would cause a rift in our friendship but it has actually made it stronger. We love each other even though our beliefs are diverse.                                                                                                                                       

I believe that we can have unity in diversity and I believe we can see the beauty come from it. The question really is what you choose. What will you choose to believe? What will you choose to act on? It’s really up to you, which is pretty darn freeing. I hope you choose to look at each and every person that’s not like you and say in both word and actions “your beautiful” and truly mean it with your whole heart.

Be blessed & bless others,

Coach Dani

 

 

Let your actions speak

We have heard the saying “Actions speak louder than words.” This statement has been a saying that I have learned to grasp and relate to on many levels. Actions, what we do, sends a clear message to those around us.

What are we portraying to those around us? What message(s) are they hearing from our non-verbal communication? This is important to think about. If we don’t, we can find ourselves surrounded by the wrong people in our lives, wondering why they mistreat us, cross our boundaries and degrade our values.

Something as simple as what clothes you wear, how you decorate your house or office or the way that you carry yourself and how you talk to people. These all send an honest message of the person you are.

For this reason, we need to be intentional with every aspect of our lives. We do not need to be on guard or worried about what someone will think of us, based on every decision we make. We are human and we make mistakes. However, we need to be intentional with portraying to people our real self. If we make a mistake, we own it, we sincerely apologize for it using words and a kind gesture. Then we move on to hopefully never make the same mistake over.

We need to know who we are, love who we are, and accept who we are. This is a tough one in a world where acceptance and belonging are important to us. Not everyone is going to like or appreciate us.

Don’t compromise who you are! I think we have all at some point in our life compromised and settled for something or someone in order to feel some sort of “goodness.” In the end, it just leaves us feeling a little less confident and a little more needy.

You set your standards, stay disciplined and hold yourself accountable to be better and do better. That looks different for everyone. What is going to get you to the point of setting standards, staying disciplined and holding yourself accountable?

Tony Robbins has this quote that I remind myself  of often. He says “progress makes us happy.” We don’t have to put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. However, we do need to put pressure on ourselves to make steps forward. What are you doing today that will pull you forward in your future?

Let your actions speak a message of love, beauty, value, truth and kindness. Let your actions say to people “I am amazing and I believe you are too.”

I am Enough

I am enough. You are enough.  We are enough.   With my whole heart, I mean this.  The relationship you have with yourself is utterly important. It will determine how emotionally, physically and spiritually happy you are. It will determine the path you take, as well as who you attract.

You do not have to be anyone else but you.  If you feel like you have to change for someone in order for them to accept or love you then you have already lost yourself.  Embrace the uniqueness of who you are.  Nobody in this entire world gets to be you!

Not everyone is going to like you for you and that’s okay. It’s a hard truth for the perfectionist and the people pleaser to grab ahold of.  We all have different passions, opinions, goals, and personalities.  Sadly, this can drive a wedge between people.  When we automatically judge people and don’t give them a chance, we ruin a potentially great opportunity to know them.

In my lifetime, I’ve had some pretty incredible people encourage, challenge and support me. If I hadn’t been open minded about getting to know them, despite our differences, I would have never gotten the chance to know them. They have been vital parts to my growing and maturing process. Never discount someone when you haven’t taken the time to get to know them.

Not every person deserves your attention. The start of a new friendship or relationship can be a little tricky. The key is asking good questions and seeing what they are all about.  You are enough. If any person tries to get more out of you when it goes against your values and who you are, that is a clear indication that they don’t deserve your attention.

To be fully known, understood and loved for every part of you, weaknesses and all shows the maturity of a person.  They see the positivity even in the negativity.

Not convinced? Think of one of your weaknesses. How has it worked in your favor? I’m sure that if you dig for perspective, you will find that your weakness has helped you in some way.

There is a quote by one of my new found favorite youtubers Joshua Eze. He says that “when a door closes, that is Gods redirection not rejection.” When you look at it that way, it is much easier to be grateful for the life you have now. You could have walked through a door that wasn’t at all meant for you and lived a life contrary to your values and dreams.

Someday, somehow, somewhere, somebody is going to fully embrace everything that you are. Those are the few people we want to keep close. They are not just the people that believe in what we do and stand for but most importantly they are the ones that are for us 100%. Even when we are at our worst, they stand by us, walk with us through life and believe in who we are.

You are enough, my friend. Embrace that truth. Own that truth. Carry that truth everywhere you go. Don’t just carry it for yourself either. Share this truth.  Show people this truth and demonstrate it. You and I are enough.

 

 

7 reasons why honesty is important in relationships

Honesty is essential in healthy relationships. It has the power to build, empower and grow relationships. I will be sharing with you, what I believe are 7 reasons why honesty is important in relationships.

Let’s start with the first reason. Honesty builds trust. When we are honest with one another we learn to trust. We don’t have to wonder what is being hidden or kept secret. Naturally we are at ease in our gut because we know the other person cares enough to tell us the truth.

Honesty doesn’t always feel good at the time but we can appreciate it because the person being honest is being vulnerable.  They are taking a chance at trusting you with the truth. These people understand that what they could say, has the potential to hurt the relationship. However, they care about you and want a relationship that is built on the truth.

When a relationship is built on truth it opens the door for growth. Which leads me into the second reason to why honesty is a big deal in relationships. Honesty problem solves.

Anyone who has a successful relationship knows this to be true. When we are in a relationship where two people are allowed to be honest, it gives the relationship a chance to solve problems that come up. Sometimes misunderstandings happen.  When we are honest we can work through the misunderstanding, communicate and solve the issue and be done with it.  Different perspectives can be frustrating.  However, we are all different in our views and can learn how the other person thinks.  Honesty grows the mind and heart.

The third reason honesty is important in relationships is that honesty grows our character. When we are honest we are holding people accountable for their behavior. It challenges us and encourages us to be a better human being. We become a person that thinks about our choices and how they can help or hurt the relationship and the person we care about.

Honesty gives understanding. This is so important because it will all around help us understand our past, present and future.  When we give honesty it doesn’t necessarily reap understanding right away. But when we have enough people telling us the truth it can be a great place to land. From this place we can begin to understand the situation, who we are and what needs to happen to grow each part of our life.

Honesty gives us freedom. We are free to be ourselves, when we find ourselves in relationships were we can be honest. We don’t have to worry about working hard to be accepted or appreciated for who we are. Everything is talked about and shared because we care.  We don’t have to secretly wonder if the other is annoyed or frustrated because we know they care about us enough to be honest with how they feel about us.

Honesty teaches us.  It teaches us many great lessons. It teaches us how to interact with people and choose our words wisely.  Think about it, when a little kid you know says something with an honest heart and it comes out as an insult. They aren’t trying to be mean, well most of them aren’t.  They just say the truth without thinking about how their words are going to effect the other.

The more we practice honesty, the more we learn how to be honest and use modesty with our words. We learn through experiences good and bad with those in our lives what honest words are effective in helping us to grow.

Honesty demonstrates genuine love. Healthy and wholesome families know this to be true. When you love a person, you want to protect them from the evils of the world.  We live in a world that isn’t always kind. Some people (any one who is reading this I bet can think of at least one, probably more) seek pleasure at someone else’s expense.  Those that love best are super honest because seeing them hurt and damaged is the last thing they want for them.

 

 

 

 

Step in her heels: the meaning behind the title

“Step in her heels ” came to me I was pondering what name would make an honest and bold statement. The statement gently proclaiming “you are loved, you are valued and you have purpose in this world.”
I believe that’s the message desperately needed in our world today.  I believe it is what will move our world forward in impacting and driving people to be better and do better.

The purpose behind “Step in her heels” is to see the perspective of another by walking in their shoes. Impacting others happens when we open ourselves up to seeing their life. In the process we are intentional with hearing their story. Then we get to walk with them through the ups and downs of life. As a result we grow in love and compassion towards people.

On this journey, you will learn to be more aware of what positive changes need to happen within and how to connect with a variety of people. I encourage you to be open minded and willing to see in new perspectives. In every step you take, you will inspire the world to grow in love.